"We're expecting!" is a phrase used lately to convey the fact that a woman is pregnant and a family is being created. A woman carries the child and her body goes through many changes both physical and emotional. The physical changes are apparent, weight gain and a changing shape of her body are some of the physical indications of pregnancy. Changing emotions are not as easy to see. Concern for the unborn child cannot be seen. Thoughts of concern about the healthy development of the baby and more thoughts of good parenting are present constantly, though not apparent to the outside world.

What is the "we" factor in "we're expecting"? Is that just a phrase to indicate inclusion of the male's participation in the creation of the child, as a courteous gesture? Is the man just the vehicle to facilitate the pregnancy and then he's back to his regular routine, never missing a beat? If "we" are expecting, is the word inclusive of both the man and the woman sharing this experience?

Men can exhibit the same physical symptoms as their mate during pregnancy. Weight gain is not uncommon in the expectant Daddy. Men will often forgo their routine at the gym to be home and help with some of the household duties. Lifting groceries is not quite the same as lifting weights and carrying the vacuum up and down stairs is not like the stair stepper at the gym, so a little extra weight sneaks up around the midsection. Instead of a quick game of basketball in the evening, it is comfortable to sit and share a bowl of ice cream, just to keep your mate content. Sharing the pregnancy experience.

Expectant Daddy's have the same thoughts and feelings as women during the nine months of pregnancy. How will this impact my relationship with my mate, how will this impact our finances and my work? Will I be a good Daddy? Will the baby be healthy? These thoughts are not exclusive to the woman, although they are more likely to be attributed to them. Am I doing my best to support the mother of my child? Men generally do not express their innermost concerns verbally but they are there, to be sure.

While the expectant Mommy is getting all the attention to her health and emotions, remember that Daddy is going through the same feelings of excitement and concerns. Although these feelings are expressed differently, they need to be acknowledged and validated. Keeping strong open communications is the key to the "we".

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Lenore ZurWelle